One of my heros left this world this week to be introduced, face-to-face, with her Father and Savior. Not fair, right??! yeah, ima bit jealous of her. Kandice was 28 years young, but lived more passionately and intentionally then most i know...pursuing God daily with all that she was, she impacted more in her 28 years than most will in a long-lived lifetime. The things of this world were of fleeting and ill purpose to her...her hope and purpose were deeply rooted in what was truth. True Kingdom living. Integrity. Her faith matched up with the way she lived her life...there was no room for questioning or doubt...just a pure representation of realness, vulnerability, passionate pursuit of eternal life...of truly knowing her Father. And people responded. people often best respond to realness. People know when you are being fake...they can spot hypocrisy from far away; and reversely, they know genuine living. I believe it is the cry of this culture...to encounter truth, the real deal, to understand what hope really is.
I cannot say that i am not mourning her separation, because i am. I cannot say that i didn't ask God that "why" question, over n over many days during her battling. I cannot say that i have not cried so many tears that i have made myself sick on multiple occasions, thanks to my new found ability to feel and process! But...i CAN say that while i have had my questions i have also been shown grace...joy when i never thought it possible...peace during pain...the understanding that even tho i may ask why, i am able to come back to the who. For it is not the 'why' that keeps me stuck anymore...it is the 'who' that i am able to grasp and grab tight to. The Who it is that i serve...the Who it is that loves me...us...and Kandice more than anyone on this planet. Craziness, i know, but truth nonetheless. I know my God. i know his character. ok both of those i am still in the process of knowing and understanding, but i have enough...and strong enough foundation, now, that i am able to experience more of Who He is through the crappiness of this life. I cannnot even tell you how much he met with me this past week and revealed more to me during this time than i ever would have imagined could have come through the pain. The point is 2-fold: To constantly pursue God with so much intentionality that you are learning more about the WHO again n again....so that when your faith is tested (when)...you have the strength of knowledge and truth to overcome...to be strengthened as a result of the testing. my faith has been strengthened once again, and i now, even more than before, desire to continue serving and knowing my God.
The celebration of her life this weekend was amazing. amazingly hard and good. brilliantly beautiful! So many testimonies of the character of Kandice and how she unceasingly impacted lives for the glory of the Kingdom! She left a 15 page outline of how she wanted the service to look lol...why did this not surprise me?! It was anything but ordinary...just like her life. we worshipped our God and encouraged one another. Kandice's mama and daddy were such an inspiration to me...encouraging everyone else, encouraging me so immensly with her words. And i will carry on her passions...i will carry on her truth...i will continue to persevere and passionately live out Truth and Love while i am still living on this earth. i will continue to pursue the Christ that she so consistently represented to me. To my hero...I promise to live this life out fully and purposefully for the God and Savior that we both adore. Enjoy soaking in his radiant presence my sister. i cannot wait to see you again soon. what a jealous and loving God we serve.
No comments:
Post a Comment