Forward faith movement. The crossing over of each of our "Jordan's". Here's the deal...recently I've felt like i am situated in a crossroads...like I've gotten the impression that I am sitting on the brink of something...something big. Whenever that something...specifically, something big of God is positioned in front of me, i seem to encounter quite the extremes in spiritual warfare. Ultimately, i believe that Satan feels it coming as well and throws his hardest fastballs at me in order to deter me from embarking on the cross-over through the Jordan and into the Promised Land.
I've had a ministry dream for quite sum time now...and up until recently i have been proactive in moving towards it, with "it" being knowingly in the farther future. I believe that the dream is drawing nearer to being launched upon, and the warfare i have encountered has escalated. Doubt, discouragement, outright disapproval, hatred, extreme testing for extreme costs. Its hard to distinguish the voices and set apart the lies from the truth...but the testing and trials run congruent with a high goal: stepping out in faith in our Father to see heaven brought to earth. For this is the life of one of his children. He does not promise easy, he does however, promise to equip us for the job. To be assigned a task from God...whether big or little...how can we refuse? How could we throw up our hands n say "this is too hard!" and quit...give up...say "Satan, you win!" Ha...i can't. Even tho, as i look at the task conceptually, and as it looks daunting and i am prone to doubt its success or shear possibility, I know-I trust, actually...that whichever mountain God calls me to climb, he is sure to be walking with me...my hand in his.
Sometimes i am tempted to say, "But, God, i just got to this level! Can't i rest here a bit before scaling higher?!". But the truth is, if God has called you to step forward, then you will quickly see that He has already put that longing in your heart for the more of what he has waiting for you. You will become complacent with the now ordinary feeling of the present, and you will no longer be satisfied. Its a cool trick:) Otherwise, we would live stagnant, boring lives that don't dare to reach further to see the impossible become possible. So that's where i've been...in the ancy place of trials, doubts, discerning and laying it all out before my Dad. Cuz i know that i have nothing apart from him, so i have to cling to his strength, courage, and character to lead me through this daily battle of faith. I am forced to have my fears n anxiety comforted by my Father instead of relying on false comforts. I am summoned to a new level of faith. And i accept the challenge. "Be strong and courageous"...I will take Joshua's lead on this one.
It surprises me, though, how quickly i am to consider temptation. Even while i recognize the choice: move forward in the dream, although risky...the promise of the fulfillment of the dream excruciatingly worth it; or take a safe job in an environment that i know...not exactly risky but comfortable. Tempting! But i have been ruined. The comfort of this flesh n world cannot compare to the glory of God's workmanship that i have already seen. While I, unfortunately, will continue to operate with somewhat of a human perspective, and will face times of unrest and a disruption of peace, i know to move forward is the only way. For if we stopped walking in faith every time we had a lack of peace, we would never do anything in obedience to the Lord. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. This includes dreams, peace, obedience, etc. I refuse to let him win. God has already aligned so many victories ahead! It is only our job to make that first step forward in obedience. God's miracles and glory are only possible where our power ends. And all those trials....all the doubting, the lies, the resistance and rejection...it will all be worth it, because it will be turned into good for the kingdom of God.
God desires our obedience...yes, for his glory to be displayed, but i think it is also out of his great love for us. He desires that we are able to experience him in all of his fullness...in all he created us to do and to be. He longs for us to long for everything of him. He has so much MORE for us...because he loves.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For i am convinced, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." ---Romans 8:35, 37-39
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