I've known for a long time, now, that I'm different...that I'm not exactly what you'd label as "mainstream normal". When I was 5 years old I remember laying in bed half the night pondering the intricacies of societal injustices and ways to combat their existence. I also was aware enough to recognize that most 5 year old's most likely did not fall asleep to the same thoughts. It's a few years later, and I haven't changed in this way...I've only added to my processing and visionary mindset.
What I have changed, is my view of myself. Where I was considered myself to be "weird" and attempted to smooth myself out into more of a "normal pattern"...I now embrace my differences as uniquely God-given. I have had a lot of people, even friends exhort me into being more "rational"...more "practical"...more, of what they were. Much criticism comes when people don't understand or feel threatened...when their box is pushed into a different shape or the thought itself threatens to dent their perfection that they have created for themselves and hold as truth. But I am not here to please man. I am living this life out in order to please only One. And for my God, I will live what he created and intended me to be...how he formed me to think...to see this world...to pursue the passions only He has so permanently burned on my heart.
I will follow him...his form and pattern...because in this plan, alone, is where I will find him in abundance and be filled with his all for my life. It is in this obedience, where he will be most glorified, through my life. For he intended the color to spill out over the "lines" when he made me...and I'm okay with that.
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