walking by faith, not by feelings:

I'm ashamed to admit that my joy is often rooted in purpose, more so than my Savior. I find that when i feel that i am off of the vision of where i want to be that i face a battle with depression. And a battle of walking out life in faith to the promises of God's word rather than how i feel. God has blessed me with a lot of vision and dreams...its a gift, but my weakness plays in with the impulsiveness of feeling deeply...one's normal "down" is my deep depression. While the normal "ups" are also exuberant highs...i have to remember why it is that i live: and that is to glorify God in all that i am and with all that i do...with every feeling.

I see. I see every face that is oppressed...every face that is crying out for hope...i see the pain of this fallen world. I hear. I hear the cries of the innocent...i hear the agony of the joyless and the anger of those living in bitterness. And i feel. I feel the anxiety of a world in such need...the fear that threatens to spill over without control...the tears that fall from so many faces of injustice. I feel so deeply, and yet i can do nothing...apart from God. He IS the Author of Redemption. He specializes in bringing forth beauty from the ashes. And i so often forget that in glorifying him first, redemption will indeed spill over to these dark places. It is in our own personal glorification of Jesus that the strongholds of satan's grip will be loosened and the hope that our Savior holds is capable of highlighting truth within hardened hearts. We have no power apart from Christ to change hearts...to redeem the sin of this world. We must look first to God...not our sense of purpose, our visions and dreams...not our feelings or emotions. It is in God, alone, that this world will find answers. It is in him, alone, that we will truly be free. Thank you God for your gift of redemption. For your saving grace in your power alone.

Redirecting

I had a redirecting of my thoughts tonight. I often think this game of life is about how well you survive. How perceptive you are at understanding people for the means of lessening your chances of being hurt. How discerning you are with who you trust and when and with how much you trust and entrust to them.

I play this game...used to be without knowing it...but I've been very aware of it recently. Slight hitch to my theory...the root is survival, and God desires so much more for us than merely surviving...he desires that we live a life of abundance. That abundance comes when we choose to switch our focus off of ourselves and onto our Redeemer. It's scary to give that up. But if we knew better who we were giving that over to, perhaps it wouldn't be quite as terrifying. Truth is...people are going to hurt you, they will fail you, and life will throw its worst at you at given times. But now I'm thinkin the only way to truly survive is to live in abundance...and that comes when we focus on bringing glory to our God. Holding fast to his promises during those times of immense darkness...when even our best efforts of ensuring safety have failed us. It is He who strengthens and comforts...it is through our tightened grip on his character and his promises that we are able to withstand...not only withstand but grow beyond measure. This is where redemption is able to bloom and envelop all past wrongs. This is where Jesus has clearance to clean out those hidden rooms and build beauty from ashes. When we let go...we let healing set its course. When we are able to stop glancing around in fear and suspicion, we will be able to focus our gaze on The Author of Redemption, and watch him do his thing:)

Maybe God's been trying to get me to understand this concept for a minute now...prolly:) Maybe...well, maybe if we are focusing our lives around Christ and his glory versus ourselves and our safety...we won't come to as many pitch black moments. And when those moments are still our reality...we will be more confident of his hand within ours because we are that much more aware of the truths of his character...the truths within his promises. We are confident enough in who we are in Christ that we don't operate so much in fear of people...we are able to live in enhanced freedom of who it is that we really are...what it is that we are really thinking and feeling...because God's love consumes us. We don't need people's acceptance as much because we have our Creator's acceptance and love. Our hope becomes greater than our fear. So...for anyone else who is as slow as me in remembering this, the game of life is about our God! We live...abundantly...to bring HIM glory. The end.