Attending To The Wounds

How do we recognize areas of need...places of deep hurt, of fear, pain, and opportunities to offer redemptive hope...?? We look towards the wound. It is easy to find...it is where The Enemy has been staking out his territory. You see, he swarms to wounds like a fly to death. Maybe instead of merely battling him away, we can first follow the wound as well. Attending first to the wounds just makes sense. An analogy i just read in an article paints the picture quite well: If you get cut and the wound is gaping open and the flies are already swarming, you don't go and try to ward off the flies, right? Instead you attend to the wound so that the flies don't have any access...they don't have a way in. Its the same for every other kind of wound. Satan points us right to those that need healing! Or, even within our own selves, we can easily see where we are wounded and need healing because we the first to know where Satan is trying to land and invade. He obviously sees that it is not secure and that he has an opening. Let's be diligent in closing those doors to him...and allowing God to perform only what he can do...the FULL restoration of particular areas of wounding. For the sake of giving God our all...lets not stay broken and less of what we can be for and in Christ.

The more i try to learn and grasp the concept of interdependency, the more i wonder what it would be like to go back to being just dependent on only myself. I would save myself alot of hurt from others. I wouldn't have to give so much of myself or die so often to myself. I wouldn't have to place so much dependency on God! And the truth is...i would regress to a state of former brokenness. Life would be just that: living for myself. Holding back the all of my faith and not truly living for God. I have to remember that this redemptive living is a process. Attending to the wounds is a process...lets not make the mistake of believing the lie that we no longer have any wounds to attend to. Let us take a humble stance in allowing God to examine our hearts and motives...to step into the light so that the darkness has a chance to fade away.

heartbeats of heaven

These are from my camera phone and a lil Picasa photoshop tweekin...wonder what they could look like with sum real graphics technology:) God's beauty is meant to be captured in any and every form. What are sum God-sightings from your week thus far?

Perspective

So, with the last assignment finished, and thankfully so...its on to the next! All i knew is that i was sposed to come back to LA after Christmas break, but i wasn't sure as to where or what i would be up to. I was praying this weekend...pleading with God to hand me sum of his vision...and this is what i got: "stop trying to work it all out...just praise me and i will take care of it" lol. So praise him i did, and Monday i got my answers. I know...quick, right?! Here is what i will be up to for the next...however long:

I will be working alongside the YWAM Los Angeles Urban Team. The team is beginning the pioneering process of moving into the projects of Pacoima. I will be helping in the creation of training programs, tapping into my educational knowledge and using those brain cells that cost so much to train lol. Another project that the team is working on is to compile knowledge and insight into surrounding gangs: reasons for becoming involved, behaviors, perceptions, beliefs, etc. The goals: to learn and gain as much insight into the gang cultures so as to best be prepared to work alongside them; to begin building contacts and relationships with community members and members of gangs; and also so as to create a book full of personal stories, pictures and disclosures of the gang life for the means of creating widespread awareness. I believe that you have the most authority in speaking into someone's life if you are best possibly educated in the inner workings of their life. And who better to ask about it all than the people themselves who are actually living the life out? These are people that we feel called to minister to, the "least of society" and these are the people that we will begin to connect with. The book project will require writing and photography, graphic arts and sum creativity skills. Ha...i wanted to work with street kids...i got my wish:)

So thats whats up with the ministry side of my life. I'm stoked! Its a nice feeling to once again have some feeling of purpose, and it is cool to me how God always seems to confirm with full clarity what i need to be pursuing next.

To download a lil from the deeper depths of my right brain, lol:

I've been reading in 1 Corinthians today, ya know that Love Chapter of 13? Its pretty tight, but its seriously CRAZINESS!! This is the line that gets me, verse 7/8 "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails". That verse totally blows my mind. ALWAYS TRUSTS AND HOPES???!!! are you serious??!! what does this even look like for the people and situations in my life? What exactly does trust and hope look like Biblically? I don't even know to say anything about it and i definitely need more understanding on it, but its a tight verse to tear apart and i think we prolly all could use to chew it apart a lil more. Its funny, though, something i did realize in worship the other day...i noticed that i had quite a lot easier time praising and worshipping God with songs that proclaimed MY love for HIM...but when it came to singing songs that proclaimed HIS love for ME...now that took me aback a bit. Still. It is still so hard for me to comprehend. God's love NEVER FAILS. I want more of that kind of love. When people see my love, i want them to be able to see Christ.

Peace n love to all of you supporting me...championing God in me. Please continue to remember me in your prayers, and to send me your own prayers and updates!

Forgiveness Preceeds Repentance:

An easily typed out title...not so easy to live out. But it is the living out of our faith that is the best indicator of its genuinuity...not the words that spill out from our lips. This world...it does us wrong over and over again, the effects of living within a fallen earth. but that is a statement, not a response. How are we going to choose to respond when we are wronged...better yet...when repentance is not offered? This is the real challenge of Christian growth...the challenge of personal responsibility. For we have been given the ultimate example, the principles of our very faith rest on this foundation: the gospel of grace. In the Christian world, the sinner is accepted before he pleads for mercy. BEFORE. Forgiveness, therefore, is already granted and the sinner only needs to accept it. We have been pardoned without plea-bargaining. How then could we, being pardoned of all sin, hold anything against another? Its outragious. And yet, we are so prone to doing so! We hang on to entitlement...we hold fast to our pride and attending to our own wounds...we are our own god---the judge, jury and decider of justice. We trust no one but ourself...to carry out justice and to repair and comfort our injured soul. Yet, we read that we can not love two masters. God's love rages with jealousy and rightfully so, because we have been bought with a price. The cost was perfect love. Do you think you are capable of perfect love? I sure don't think i am...and so, i will lay down my "rights"...the tainted image of my expectations of what righteousness should look like, and i will choose to trust that my God has the better vision. I will choose to take responsibility in responding like-minded in Christ---choosing to pardon even when it hurts. It is easy, once again, to preach about forgivenes...but are we ready to really walk with Christ? Jesus asks us if we are able to drink of his cup...To take up our cross and put some actions to our words. And i ask myself, once again, who is really Lord of my life?? Let us not allow our lives to refute our faith.

The Fight or Flight Response

Whats your first instinct when faced with challenge and hardship...entering a tunnel in which you have no idea of the layout? Whatchu think....ya wanna run? Or ya wanna stay n perservere? I have been in such a tunnel for the last 4 months, and i'm entering a new turn in the same tunnel---without a ton of understanding or explanation. I don't know what the next stretch of my life will look like. And i'ma tell ya the truth...i've felt the intense urge to run on multiple occasions...to switch up locations n scenery...say see ya later to people that have betrayed me...to habitual problems and stress that have closed in on me...to run from it all. But with as much of a desire that ive had to run from all the drama and crap, ive suprisingly been overwhelmed by a God that fights for me...that equips me to withstand...that challenges me to perservere. It is a humbling walk, this faith life...and if you're not willing to drop yaself to your knees then you'll either be pushed there or you will crumble on your own. I think i'll take the first option. This following God thing is not about me...its not about feeling good--not about doing whats easy--or preserving myself...its about glorifying God IN EVERYTHING. I refuse to give in to satan and run...i won't let him throw me off of the plan God has laid out for me...he can't withstand my God. So in the darkness of uncertainty...in those times that i don't understand...even in those moments when satan's hate threatens to overtake and he seems to be winning the fight---i will remain in Christ, because the war has already been won. Im not leavin till God tells me otherwise. I'm choosing to trust that he has my best...that he knows better than my screwed up self. I'm anchoring down in the truth that i know and i'm standing strong, ready to fight. And when God calls me on to my next assignment...then i'll be more than ready to sprint forward...not in a self-sabbotage of defeat or preservation but in self-assurance of Godly obedience.

Satan's right on my tail...he's been chasin me for a minute now...but i'm no longer scared...no longer running away. I am armed. The longer i act in obedient faith...the stronger my defense becomes. With God as my Savior...of whom can i be afraid? I have seen him act in my defense. I have felt the unsurpassable peace flood through me in times of complete doubt and crippling pain. I have seen him move...i have felt his presence of love and righteous anger...justice and mercy. He is what my hope rests on...and he will never fail me. so together we will continue fighting...for life is what's on the table...and life is what this world needs. This world doesn't need any more Christians living to promote themselves...speaking words of truth but failing to act in them. They don't need any more masked righteousness...they need life, and the only way to show them true life is to live fully in Christ---to drop to our knees---that is how we begin to fight.