Whats your first instinct when faced with challenge and hardship...entering a tunnel in which you have no idea of the layout? Whatchu think....ya wanna run? Or ya wanna stay n perservere? I have been in such a tunnel for the last 4 months, and i'm entering a new turn in the same tunnel---without a ton of understanding or explanation. I don't know what the next stretch of my life will look like. And i'ma tell ya the truth...i've felt the intense urge to run on multiple occasions...to switch up locations n scenery...say see ya later to people that have betrayed me...to habitual problems and stress that have closed in on me...to run from it all. But with as much of a desire that ive had to run from all the drama and crap, ive suprisingly been overwhelmed by a God that fights for me...that equips me to withstand...that challenges me to perservere. It is a humbling walk, this faith life...and if you're not willing to drop yaself to your knees then you'll either be pushed there or you will crumble on your own. I think i'll take the first option. This following God thing is not about me...its not about feeling good--not about doing whats easy--or preserving myself...its about glorifying God IN EVERYTHING. I refuse to give in to satan and run...i won't let him throw me off of the plan God has laid out for me...he can't withstand my God. So in the darkness of uncertainty...in those times that i don't understand...even in those moments when satan's hate threatens to overtake and he seems to be winning the fight---i will remain in Christ, because the war has already been won. Im not leavin till God tells me otherwise. I'm choosing to trust that he has my best...that he knows better than my screwed up self. I'm anchoring down in the truth that i know and i'm standing strong, ready to fight. And when God calls me on to my next assignment...then i'll be more than ready to sprint forward...not in a self-sabbotage of defeat or preservation but in self-assurance of Godly obedience.
Satan's right on my tail...he's been chasin me for a minute now...but i'm no longer scared...no longer running away. I am armed. The longer i act in obedient faith...the stronger my defense becomes. With God as my Savior...of whom can i be afraid? I have seen him act in my defense. I have felt the unsurpassable peace flood through me in times of complete doubt and crippling pain. I have seen him move...i have felt his presence of love and righteous anger...justice and mercy. He is what my hope rests on...and he will never fail me. so together we will continue fighting...for life is what's on the table...and life is what this world needs. This world doesn't need any more Christians living to promote themselves...speaking words of truth but failing to act in them. They don't need any more masked righteousness...they need life, and the only way to show them true life is to live fully in Christ---to drop to our knees---that is how we begin to fight.
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