So...i wish i could update you all with crazy God stories and miraculous God-witnessed movements, but the truth is...i´m really struggling to see God in what we are doing here. I´ve asked myself so many times ¨why am i here?¨ and ¨what the heck are we doing here?
ok...but backing up now...my team of 7 students and 2 leaders are staying at this Methodist church in Mexico City. we have been blessed with mats and a couple couches to sleep on...amazing authentic Mexican comida and lots of time to soak in Jesus´presence for the 9 days that we have been here. but i´m just not satisfied. actually...i´m beyond that. i´m SO hungry to witness and carry out more of God´s heart. i feel like i´m locked in this cage and my heart hurts. or that i´m stuck on this baby step and all i want to do is race to the very top. i refuse to settle my heart in the mediocrity of my feelings.
Here´s the deal: It is especially difficult bc as a team, we were promised to be working alongside the prostitutes and gang members. the outreach ¨promotion¨ was mere talk and fluff. we are actually working with a church. the church of 30 or so people where we are living. which is all good...to be empowering the church of course...its just that this particular church has very differing perspectives and highly rooted beliefs on what evangelism entails and the role of church members to actually leave the church and go TO the people. they believe the people are just sposed to come to them somehow. i dunno...its kinda messed up. its religiousity versus relationship. and there is a huge disconnect between this religious viewpoint of the older members among the younger generation. our church and living area is surrounded by walls and wire and locks from the outside. i feel like we are barred from reality. we are living in the biggest kidnapping capital in the world...with all this hurt and pain all around us...and i feel helpless. there is alot of fear paralyzing this city...including the church. we, as a team, cry out to God every single morning to see the ¨more¨...to be a part of more of His heart...to be his hands and feet. how can we see the more if we are afraid to position ourselves for it? this is the posture of acceptance.
its not God that i don´t trust in this. its not that i don´t have the faith that he could actually use me or that i could be a witness to his miracles...its that i don´t necessarily trust people...and our shortcomings. the people making the decisions of how to evangelize...how to show God...how to minister. how do i trust that this is what God wants for us?? that what we are doing is making Him proud?? the answer that i have come up with for now is that....i can´t. i can only continue to trust in what i know is true. that being my Father. his ever continual love for my ever present questioning and struggling. i can only control my responses and reactions and dive deeper into the arms of my constance---my joy---my hope---my purpose...basically, lets just say my everything lol.
so this is where i am. trying to remember that i live and love for Christ, alone...above the cause---¨being¨in Christ versus ¨doing¨. trying to hang on---altho it doesn´t feel by much often times---to the strength i find in my Savior...my Father. is HE...alone...enough for me??!
So...please please pa--lease! pray it up for me and my team. we want the more. we are ready for it and are pleading to see and experience it. pray that we don´t become blind to it when it occurs...specially if it were to come amidst the mundane. pray that we keep our eyes open...our hearts ready and fervently faithful...and waiting in joyful expectance for God to put on His display. and that we can do our very bests and be faithful in the small things.
write and update me on all of your lives!!! i love you all!!! thank you abundantly for your prayers and support...and encouragement=)
Kate
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
time to hop up on the dance flo
wow. 3 months of lecture phase/intense life transformation...done. i can't believe how fast that went! Sunday my team leaves for Mexico City for 2 more months of learning and application! Today we said g'bye to our first team leaving for Thailand and tomorrow we will send off the Morrocco team. The Costa Rica team leaves Saturday...so we are the "last but not least":)
It was actually really hard to say "see you later" to so many people that have become family to me. I might have let a few tears go. BUT...i am SO pumped to all come back together with testimonies of God's amazing power at work through US! How priviledged are we??!! That the God of the universe would choose to use such broken people to display his love. I am humbled and so thankful and honored that i can be His hands and feet.
And what perfect timing to put our teaching into practice because we just were drenched in the Holy Spirit this past week. He's a pretty tight part of the Trinity if you didn't know. haha...pretty awesome. I guess i often have not distinguished the differing characters of the Trinity, and totally downplayed their uniqueness. I witnessed quite alot of what most Christians seem to term "charismatic...um...or out there" typa God movement lol. Within the very first day, i saw the Spirit manefesting in people through shaking, laughing, crying, falling down and kinda like sleeping i guess. pretty new stuff for me! and i was a bit anxious and unsure of how to respond to the perceived chaos. The thing was, though, that i knew all these people, lol...and so i knew that they really would not and could not make this stuff up. So in my heart i knew it was forreal...i knew i was seeing the Holy Spirit moving around the room and i was hungry for the more of Him. We were given the opportunity to receive more gifts from the Holy Spirit...specifically, the gifts of Prophecy, Tongues, Healing, Wisdom, and Faith. And of course i wanted it all, so i was prayed over for each. The faith one was a bit different for me...it was the one i most desire...having ALL-OUT faith---which includes and welcomes any diversity, hardship, and suffering that is bound to come with such faith. It includes ACTION. living out--with total surrender and reckless abandon--to whatever and wherever God is calling forth. To step out, and step up into living out my faith through serving God with all my heart, not just partial obedience. And i couldn't wait to receive this gift/annointing. once receiving it i felt the Holy Spirit unlike anything i've ever felt before (being drug-free that is)...and i felt my body and arms get so heavy and weak that all i could do is sit and soak in His presence. It kinda scared me at first, but i had no choice but to rest and accept his love. i asked for prayer for healing of my neck several times...and it has actually been feeling better this week. as i think about it...i haven't taken any painkillers at all this week---and my liver says thanks. I also asked for healing over my mind---from depression that has run in my family for successive generations. It is very humbling for me to ask for prayer, i've figured out, because it is admitting and SUBmitting to my weakness and lack of ability to lean and depend on myself. The speaker asked for students to come forward who have ever in their life wished death upon themselves; in order to cut off satan's authority in that door that they had opened. He told of many of his friends and surprising stats of Christians who had once invited death upon themselves into thier thinking...and who a majority had later died of unnatural consequences at young ages. So many people went forward...i was surprised. and i was sitting there not wanting to move---not even sure if i really was ready to cut off that wish---and the speaker was like..."I feel like there is one more that needs to come forward"---ha...prolly something they all say as a tactic---nah actually i think and believe he was pretty legit---but at any cost...i finally got my butt up and acted in "the opposite spirit" which means maybe not all of me was sure that i desired total healing from this, but i knew in my head that i needed to act in this, so i did. and i cried sum more. ive cried often here. it sucks. i hate it. but there is something freeing from it. and forcing myself to act against satan and against death...and any other tactic satan tries to use on me...really started something in me. i dunno it all yet exactly...but i got a better taste of freedom...COMPLETE wholeness. and once you see it...haha...you really have no choice but to keep pursuing more of it. Jesus says (somewhere...maybe John 10:10...i'm not sure, just popped in my head...) but that "He has come to give life, and to give it ABUNDANTLY". emphasis added on the abundant word:) and i might need another tat of that lol. jk...kinda.
SO...thats whats been up this past week:) Now we are just getting ready to leave...learning dance/dramas, writing up testimonies and teaching lessons, cleaning, and acquiring needed outreach essentials. I was blessed with a backpack to borrow, so i am ready to party!
Oh...i almost forgot about the "giving night". The base all participated in a lil bit different style of worshiping God one night last week---by giving to each other. it was SO AWESOME to see such pure humility and generosity---actually...i think what it was was straight up love. Our love for God was manefested through our loving and preferring each other, and it was quite the testimony. people gave laptops, CARS, jewlery, clothes, money, treasured and sentimental items, and on and on...tears were flowing and hugs and prayers were flying. people were blessed by receiving and giving.
Did i mention that i absolutely LOVE it here??! God is so ever present, even amidst the struggles that we've all been walking through. I love living in community...and i love experiencing more of Christ. The more i experience of Jesus...the deeper and stronger my faith is rooted, and i think i'm going to be needing sum very strong and undemolishable roots!
I'll try to keep you all posted from Mexico, but i am unsure of what our internet access will be at this time. But please continue to pray for our team(s)!!
Prayer Points:
* Spiritual oppression/depression from the country's history and religious ties/practices (our 1 week trip as a base to Mexico was really hard for me and many others b/c of this....PLEASE PLEASE...i need prayer on this!!!!!)
* Openness and flexibility to the leading of the Holy Spirit each day, concerning our ministry outlook for each day...versus being stubborn or concerned with what we/I would like to do or how i would like to minister. more of the HS...less of ME!
* Finances/last minute NEEDS: one girl is waiting on a very important (go-or not go) official paper from the German govt. It is on its way but it has to come before Sunday! Another guy is waiting on his backpack to come from the mail. And also very importantly...we have 2 members that do not have their outreach money all in yet. as in nearly $2,000 i think...still needed to be raised...and yes...before Sunday:) with all these needes, however, i am a little excited to see how God will provide it all. our timing in comparison to His...haha, a little funny. we are such instant-fix people...and it kinda takes away from his glory if He were to provide in such rigid and unpredictable ways.
* And team unity/cohesiveness. Pray that we become more self-less and more loving with one another, because people will see that first...whether or not we are able to love each other...as a team...before they realize how or impacted by how we love them.
Thank you over n over again, to all that have and are supporting me---financially...prayers...encouraging facebook posts/e-mails/IMs (technology these days:) and awesome care-packages, often full of CANDY!!!!!!!!!! who knew??! haha. Thank you. I love you.
It was actually really hard to say "see you later" to so many people that have become family to me. I might have let a few tears go. BUT...i am SO pumped to all come back together with testimonies of God's amazing power at work through US! How priviledged are we??!! That the God of the universe would choose to use such broken people to display his love. I am humbled and so thankful and honored that i can be His hands and feet.
And what perfect timing to put our teaching into practice because we just were drenched in the Holy Spirit this past week. He's a pretty tight part of the Trinity if you didn't know. haha...pretty awesome. I guess i often have not distinguished the differing characters of the Trinity, and totally downplayed their uniqueness. I witnessed quite alot of what most Christians seem to term "charismatic...um...or out there" typa God movement lol. Within the very first day, i saw the Spirit manefesting in people through shaking, laughing, crying, falling down and kinda like sleeping i guess. pretty new stuff for me! and i was a bit anxious and unsure of how to respond to the perceived chaos. The thing was, though, that i knew all these people, lol...and so i knew that they really would not and could not make this stuff up. So in my heart i knew it was forreal...i knew i was seeing the Holy Spirit moving around the room and i was hungry for the more of Him. We were given the opportunity to receive more gifts from the Holy Spirit...specifically, the gifts of Prophecy, Tongues, Healing, Wisdom, and Faith. And of course i wanted it all, so i was prayed over for each. The faith one was a bit different for me...it was the one i most desire...having ALL-OUT faith---which includes and welcomes any diversity, hardship, and suffering that is bound to come with such faith. It includes ACTION. living out--with total surrender and reckless abandon--to whatever and wherever God is calling forth. To step out, and step up into living out my faith through serving God with all my heart, not just partial obedience. And i couldn't wait to receive this gift/annointing. once receiving it i felt the Holy Spirit unlike anything i've ever felt before (being drug-free that is)...and i felt my body and arms get so heavy and weak that all i could do is sit and soak in His presence. It kinda scared me at first, but i had no choice but to rest and accept his love. i asked for prayer for healing of my neck several times...and it has actually been feeling better this week. as i think about it...i haven't taken any painkillers at all this week---and my liver says thanks. I also asked for healing over my mind---from depression that has run in my family for successive generations. It is very humbling for me to ask for prayer, i've figured out, because it is admitting and SUBmitting to my weakness and lack of ability to lean and depend on myself. The speaker asked for students to come forward who have ever in their life wished death upon themselves; in order to cut off satan's authority in that door that they had opened. He told of many of his friends and surprising stats of Christians who had once invited death upon themselves into thier thinking...and who a majority had later died of unnatural consequences at young ages. So many people went forward...i was surprised. and i was sitting there not wanting to move---not even sure if i really was ready to cut off that wish---and the speaker was like..."I feel like there is one more that needs to come forward"---ha...prolly something they all say as a tactic---nah actually i think and believe he was pretty legit---but at any cost...i finally got my butt up and acted in "the opposite spirit" which means maybe not all of me was sure that i desired total healing from this, but i knew in my head that i needed to act in this, so i did. and i cried sum more. ive cried often here. it sucks. i hate it. but there is something freeing from it. and forcing myself to act against satan and against death...and any other tactic satan tries to use on me...really started something in me. i dunno it all yet exactly...but i got a better taste of freedom...COMPLETE wholeness. and once you see it...haha...you really have no choice but to keep pursuing more of it. Jesus says (somewhere...maybe John 10:10...i'm not sure, just popped in my head...) but that "He has come to give life, and to give it ABUNDANTLY". emphasis added on the abundant word:) and i might need another tat of that lol. jk...kinda.
SO...thats whats been up this past week:) Now we are just getting ready to leave...learning dance/dramas, writing up testimonies and teaching lessons, cleaning, and acquiring needed outreach essentials. I was blessed with a backpack to borrow, so i am ready to party!
Oh...i almost forgot about the "giving night". The base all participated in a lil bit different style of worshiping God one night last week---by giving to each other. it was SO AWESOME to see such pure humility and generosity---actually...i think what it was was straight up love. Our love for God was manefested through our loving and preferring each other, and it was quite the testimony. people gave laptops, CARS, jewlery, clothes, money, treasured and sentimental items, and on and on...tears were flowing and hugs and prayers were flying. people were blessed by receiving and giving.
Did i mention that i absolutely LOVE it here??! God is so ever present, even amidst the struggles that we've all been walking through. I love living in community...and i love experiencing more of Christ. The more i experience of Jesus...the deeper and stronger my faith is rooted, and i think i'm going to be needing sum very strong and undemolishable roots!
I'll try to keep you all posted from Mexico, but i am unsure of what our internet access will be at this time. But please continue to pray for our team(s)!!
Prayer Points:
* Spiritual oppression/depression from the country's history and religious ties/practices (our 1 week trip as a base to Mexico was really hard for me and many others b/c of this....PLEASE PLEASE...i need prayer on this!!!!!)
* Openness and flexibility to the leading of the Holy Spirit each day, concerning our ministry outlook for each day...versus being stubborn or concerned with what we/I would like to do or how i would like to minister. more of the HS...less of ME!
* Finances/last minute NEEDS: one girl is waiting on a very important (go-or not go) official paper from the German govt. It is on its way but it has to come before Sunday! Another guy is waiting on his backpack to come from the mail. And also very importantly...we have 2 members that do not have their outreach money all in yet. as in nearly $2,000 i think...still needed to be raised...and yes...before Sunday:) with all these needes, however, i am a little excited to see how God will provide it all. our timing in comparison to His...haha, a little funny. we are such instant-fix people...and it kinda takes away from his glory if He were to provide in such rigid and unpredictable ways.
* And team unity/cohesiveness. Pray that we become more self-less and more loving with one another, because people will see that first...whether or not we are able to love each other...as a team...before they realize how or impacted by how we love them.
Thank you over n over again, to all that have and are supporting me---financially...prayers...encouraging facebook posts/e-mails/IMs (technology these days:) and awesome care-packages, often full of CANDY!!!!!!!!!! who knew??! haha. Thank you. I love you.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Deal On Brazil...
I guess I should specify my Brazil dreams because everyone does not seem to be up on this track. So lemme break it down for you right quick!...
God started to plant Brazil on my heart when he had me read "A Cry From The Streets"...I looked on the back of the book and it said it was published by YWAM. Thats how i came to look more into YWAM and eventually ended up here in LA:) It has been a few years since i read that book, but the stories and the passion for the kids within this country did not leave my heart. The book explained about YWAM's ministry with the enormous population of "street children" that live on the sidewalks of Brazil. These kids are terrorized and often murdered by the corrupt police who say they are "cleaning up the streets". Its ridiculous.
YWAM has several different bases located all over Brazil...one house that works with little girls coming out of prostitution...another house that works with boys that are addicted to sniffing glue and other harder drugs.
I have wanted to go to Brazil for a few years now, but did not know how to do missions or what that looked like...and have battled through doubts of personal ability in this area. In addition, I have had and still do have school loans that I need to repay. So I have been processing and waiting for God to continue to develop and lead me in this dream...towards my heart.
A month or so ago, God placed a new plan in my head concerning Brazil. It was 6am on a saturday morning and i was suddenly awaken from a deep sleep with a very distinct and clear thought that randomly jumped my head and myself awake. Given that it was, 1. 6AM lol...and 2. So randomly placed and so clear...and then 3. that we just had teaching on hearing from the Holy Spirit haha....I was 100% certain that this thought was from my Daddy. One more piece of background info for ya...right before coming to YWAM LA, I had read a book called "A Boy Raised As A Dog", in which a psychiatrist/doctoral psychologist tells about his stories of the traumatized children that he has worked with in counseling them. This man, named, Bruce Perry, works with other colleagues in researching how children respond to trauma and what the best ways of working with them are. It is an amazing read if you are interested. But yeah....so the thought was this: that I should get in touch with this guy, Dr. Perry, and work it so that he employs me to do research and counseling with the traumatized children that YWAM works with in Brazil. Integrating professional counseling techniques (mainly TF-CBT aka Trauma-Focused-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy...my favorite) with the Christian faith and the ultimate need for these children to have Jesus in their lives. I realize its quite the task and challenge...but thats my life=) where some have told me it would be impossible or that i'm not being realistic...i continue to think big...to think with Jesus...and allow HIM to make the impossible possible! I can only trust Him...because I know that this is his dream too...i could never have thought this big and He knew that haha....I am laughing at myself because I once wondered how God could ever dream bigger than me lol. how prideful is that??! well...he has a funny way of proving me wrong. and I LOVE HIM FOR THAT!!!!!! pray for me! You are all held in my heart.
God started to plant Brazil on my heart when he had me read "A Cry From The Streets"...I looked on the back of the book and it said it was published by YWAM. Thats how i came to look more into YWAM and eventually ended up here in LA:) It has been a few years since i read that book, but the stories and the passion for the kids within this country did not leave my heart. The book explained about YWAM's ministry with the enormous population of "street children" that live on the sidewalks of Brazil. These kids are terrorized and often murdered by the corrupt police who say they are "cleaning up the streets". Its ridiculous.
YWAM has several different bases located all over Brazil...one house that works with little girls coming out of prostitution...another house that works with boys that are addicted to sniffing glue and other harder drugs.
I have wanted to go to Brazil for a few years now, but did not know how to do missions or what that looked like...and have battled through doubts of personal ability in this area. In addition, I have had and still do have school loans that I need to repay. So I have been processing and waiting for God to continue to develop and lead me in this dream...towards my heart.
A month or so ago, God placed a new plan in my head concerning Brazil. It was 6am on a saturday morning and i was suddenly awaken from a deep sleep with a very distinct and clear thought that randomly jumped my head and myself awake. Given that it was, 1. 6AM lol...and 2. So randomly placed and so clear...and then 3. that we just had teaching on hearing from the Holy Spirit haha....I was 100% certain that this thought was from my Daddy. One more piece of background info for ya...right before coming to YWAM LA, I had read a book called "A Boy Raised As A Dog", in which a psychiatrist/doctoral psychologist tells about his stories of the traumatized children that he has worked with in counseling them. This man, named, Bruce Perry, works with other colleagues in researching how children respond to trauma and what the best ways of working with them are. It is an amazing read if you are interested. But yeah....so the thought was this: that I should get in touch with this guy, Dr. Perry, and work it so that he employs me to do research and counseling with the traumatized children that YWAM works with in Brazil. Integrating professional counseling techniques (mainly TF-CBT aka Trauma-Focused-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy...my favorite) with the Christian faith and the ultimate need for these children to have Jesus in their lives. I realize its quite the task and challenge...but thats my life=) where some have told me it would be impossible or that i'm not being realistic...i continue to think big...to think with Jesus...and allow HIM to make the impossible possible! I can only trust Him...because I know that this is his dream too...i could never have thought this big and He knew that haha....I am laughing at myself because I once wondered how God could ever dream bigger than me lol. how prideful is that??! well...he has a funny way of proving me wrong. and I LOVE HIM FOR THAT!!!!!! pray for me! You are all held in my heart.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Falling In Love...
Its amazing what depth of joy that freedom and revelation can bring forth. It basically ruins you for the ordinary. For me...an ordinary that consists of always striving. striving to please God...to always trying and feeling the failure of not making him proud. Of constantly trying to "do", instead of just "be". I have been revived to a place in which i can see with new vision more of my true identity in Jesus...and it is through this revelation that i feel a new joy.
This past week the lectures were on "The Father Heart of God". Tom Hallas was the speaker and i seriously learned so much from his teachings and his display of God's heart through his own character.
Telling truth from lies becomes so much clearer when you are able to not only recognize but obediently choose to live out of your proclaimed inheritance as sons and daughters of the most High God. How blessed are we?!
With more revelation and experiencing God...the more my faith and trust is increased. One of my favorite quotes from Tom is "If we do not think that God is worthy of our trust/love, we will not fully trust him" "We will not love him with ALL that we are if we do not fully trust his character". So true....at least it definitely is true for me. seems so simple when i write it out...but to my heart and head it was profound:) Sometimes love has to be a choice for me. To daily choose to walk out my existing trust in God with how i live...and to continually press in to more experiences with God so that i am reminded how worthy He truly is.
2 awesome songs that ive recently downloaded that capitalize on what i've been experiencing lately: "You Have Ravished My Heart"- Brian Johnson & "I Have Found"- Kim Walker
Anyways...So, we have 2 more weeks of lecture phase left before we leave for Mexico City/Veracruz! I cannot believe how flippin fast the time has gone here and how much truth i've soaked up. Our trip plans are going to be pretty open and unknown beforehand as well as prolly day-to-day. This is because our outreach team is the first one that LA has sent to these cities, so everything is new and exciting! Thus TBD:) basically what we are going to do is seek God each day we wake up and get the down low from the Holy Spirit on what he wants us to do with our time. i'm so stoked to see more of God in this way! We are partnering with churches and will be going in with the mindset of empowering them to reach their cities, so that when we leave they can continue to make fight the battles. we have the chance to bring in our own ideas that God is already laying on our hearts and perhaps be able to put them into play once we are there. i may have a lot of ideas already:)
So...we leave around the 14th (i think) of December. and we will then be back in the states after 2 months. And then my Transformation DTS is over. wow. I am comforted in knowing, though, that God will faithfully continue to transform me for the rest of my life if I let him. I have a couple different ideas for after DTS, but i'm not certain at all on either of them, so it will be alot more practicing of my faith! They have another school that is offered here that would start shortly after DTS ends. It is called SOMD- School of Ministry Development. It is a 3 month long school in which your gifts and talents are capitalized on and you are able to begin working out specific projects and dreams that God has placed on your heart...BRAZIL...haha...and actually work on practical program development stuff and putting it into place...and an optional outreach after the 3 month school. i'm considering it. But there are alot of things to also consider...like...my 2 lil boys whom i miss so much but in all actually are prolly doing fine without me lol (my cats!) haha...and then there are those nasty school loans which i keep defering...So...
I need prayer:) like always! prayer specifically for the following:
* Last 2 weeks of lecture phase...
-that i can continue to soak up all the truth that God has for me
-that i can continue to choose to live out my identity in Christ and continue to realize more of what that truly means
-that God will be preparing each day for us in advance (for outreach)
-that our minds and heart will be protected against spiritual warfare (deppression & oppression) b4 and mostly while we are in Mexico
-that God will lay on our hearts his ideas and visions for Mexico and the outreach activities that He desires for us to do
-and a practical thing of money for a backpack for Mexico, b/c we will be traveling alot and i need like a hiking backpack to lug around my stuff in!
*After DTS ends (in 2 months)...
-revelation of the path God wants me to follow
-whether it is the secondary school of SOMD (preparing for Brazil)....or just up and going to Brazil (with a few ideas of my own)...or going back to Indianapolis...or whever the heck else or whatever else that God may surprise me with:) the options are prolly endless and i like it like that!
haha...peace out ya'll. i love you all and continue to thank God all the time for such an AMAZING group of supporters he has blessed me with. THANK YOU for walking with me in this journey of life.
This past week the lectures were on "The Father Heart of God". Tom Hallas was the speaker and i seriously learned so much from his teachings and his display of God's heart through his own character.
Telling truth from lies becomes so much clearer when you are able to not only recognize but obediently choose to live out of your proclaimed inheritance as sons and daughters of the most High God. How blessed are we?!
With more revelation and experiencing God...the more my faith and trust is increased. One of my favorite quotes from Tom is "If we do not think that God is worthy of our trust/love, we will not fully trust him" "We will not love him with ALL that we are if we do not fully trust his character". So true....at least it definitely is true for me. seems so simple when i write it out...but to my heart and head it was profound:) Sometimes love has to be a choice for me. To daily choose to walk out my existing trust in God with how i live...and to continually press in to more experiences with God so that i am reminded how worthy He truly is.
2 awesome songs that ive recently downloaded that capitalize on what i've been experiencing lately: "You Have Ravished My Heart"- Brian Johnson & "I Have Found"- Kim Walker
Anyways...So, we have 2 more weeks of lecture phase left before we leave for Mexico City/Veracruz! I cannot believe how flippin fast the time has gone here and how much truth i've soaked up. Our trip plans are going to be pretty open and unknown beforehand as well as prolly day-to-day. This is because our outreach team is the first one that LA has sent to these cities, so everything is new and exciting! Thus TBD:) basically what we are going to do is seek God each day we wake up and get the down low from the Holy Spirit on what he wants us to do with our time. i'm so stoked to see more of God in this way! We are partnering with churches and will be going in with the mindset of empowering them to reach their cities, so that when we leave they can continue to make fight the battles. we have the chance to bring in our own ideas that God is already laying on our hearts and perhaps be able to put them into play once we are there. i may have a lot of ideas already:)
So...we leave around the 14th (i think) of December. and we will then be back in the states after 2 months. And then my Transformation DTS is over. wow. I am comforted in knowing, though, that God will faithfully continue to transform me for the rest of my life if I let him. I have a couple different ideas for after DTS, but i'm not certain at all on either of them, so it will be alot more practicing of my faith! They have another school that is offered here that would start shortly after DTS ends. It is called SOMD- School of Ministry Development. It is a 3 month long school in which your gifts and talents are capitalized on and you are able to begin working out specific projects and dreams that God has placed on your heart...BRAZIL...haha...and actually work on practical program development stuff and putting it into place...and an optional outreach after the 3 month school. i'm considering it. But there are alot of things to also consider...like...my 2 lil boys whom i miss so much but in all actually are prolly doing fine without me lol (my cats!) haha...and then there are those nasty school loans which i keep defering...So...
I need prayer:) like always! prayer specifically for the following:
* Last 2 weeks of lecture phase...
-that i can continue to soak up all the truth that God has for me
-that i can continue to choose to live out my identity in Christ and continue to realize more of what that truly means
-that God will be preparing each day for us in advance (for outreach)
-that our minds and heart will be protected against spiritual warfare (deppression & oppression) b4 and mostly while we are in Mexico
-that God will lay on our hearts his ideas and visions for Mexico and the outreach activities that He desires for us to do
-and a practical thing of money for a backpack for Mexico, b/c we will be traveling alot and i need like a hiking backpack to lug around my stuff in!
*After DTS ends (in 2 months)...
-revelation of the path God wants me to follow
-whether it is the secondary school of SOMD (preparing for Brazil)....or just up and going to Brazil (with a few ideas of my own)...or going back to Indianapolis...or whever the heck else or whatever else that God may surprise me with:) the options are prolly endless and i like it like that!
haha...peace out ya'll. i love you all and continue to thank God all the time for such an AMAZING group of supporters he has blessed me with. THANK YOU for walking with me in this journey of life.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
New LA Down Low:
Hi to all of my supporters and continual thanks for making this adventure possible for me. Its been a very busy last couple of weeks so i'ma give ya all the down low on whats been up lately:)
We started meeting in our outreach teams and hammering out some hard-core learning about our country...mine being Mexico. We will be spending our first month in Mexico City and the second month in Veracruz. Just a lil info on Mexico, lol...you'll be surprised to know that i was 1 of 2 people to get all the states right on our GEOGRAPHY quiz lol!!!! haaaaaayyy! haha. get it. there are 31 states within Mexico and most of them are rather crime-ridden. There is a ton of trafficking weapons IN to Mexico from the US and then in exchange...US gets Mexico's drugs. I know...lovely huh? There is hope though, and one of the reasons for hope is that multiple YWAM bases (including ours and our own students) have gotten prophecies and visions concerning Mexico and an upcoming revival within the churches there and within the hearts of the people living there. So that is very encouraging and exciting! However, it still remains a very dark and spiritually oppressive country. We learned about the religious history of Mexico and it explains alot about the present violence and oppression that still exists. The country was founded by differing Indian tribes (Myans and...i forget, wupps) but they worshipped many different gods that they offered human sacrifices to in order to spill their blood out for the gods. Have you ever seen Apocalypse? It paints a very gruesome picture for you. and now Mexicans worship the goddesse of the dead. It is a very largely practiced cult, both in Mexico City and Veracruz. The country has a very corrupt justice system which is infested with dirty cops and politicians. Kidnapping for ransom is a very big problem there, and the cops are often involved.
Yeah, so...there is a lil bit of what we will be facing and walking into...but i share this with you so that you can be praying and entering with me into battle within the spiritual realm.
We have been learning in class about Spiritual Warfare, countered with God's Truths and Power; as well as Cultural Ministry, and this week's speaker is focusing on Servanthood. Good stuff! I loved the week on Spiritual Warfare b/c the speaker didn't focus JUST on satan...she would counter it with Godly truth. the main thing that stuck with me was the concept (truth) that we, as God's children, automatically are blessed with God's power to claim authority over satan and his agenda. God has given ALL of us the authority to trample on satan's head. We just have to CHOOSE to believe this and choose to live it out. And...if we choose to rather believe satan's lies that he plants in our heads, we are giving him his power. He has no power over us but that which we allow him to have. very eye-opening stuff! loved it.
We have also started to go to our "Ethnic churches"...ours being a Mexican church. its pretty tight, being able to listen to a sermon all in Spanish! I'm learning alot of new Spanish! Its so cool to be able to worship God in another language and culture. And then there is the bonus of always getting Mexican food afterwards:) I got the hook up on this one!
So...thats the recent down low of LA life. and my big sista is comin out to see me this weekend so i'm extremely stoked about that. she just decided tonight lol. I love random adventures! Please keep praying for me...the LA base...and Mexico with me! I covet all of your prayers and encouragement. Love to all...
We started meeting in our outreach teams and hammering out some hard-core learning about our country...mine being Mexico. We will be spending our first month in Mexico City and the second month in Veracruz. Just a lil info on Mexico, lol...you'll be surprised to know that i was 1 of 2 people to get all the states right on our GEOGRAPHY quiz lol!!!! haaaaaayyy! haha. get it. there are 31 states within Mexico and most of them are rather crime-ridden. There is a ton of trafficking weapons IN to Mexico from the US and then in exchange...US gets Mexico's drugs. I know...lovely huh? There is hope though, and one of the reasons for hope is that multiple YWAM bases (including ours and our own students) have gotten prophecies and visions concerning Mexico and an upcoming revival within the churches there and within the hearts of the people living there. So that is very encouraging and exciting! However, it still remains a very dark and spiritually oppressive country. We learned about the religious history of Mexico and it explains alot about the present violence and oppression that still exists. The country was founded by differing Indian tribes (Myans and...i forget, wupps) but they worshipped many different gods that they offered human sacrifices to in order to spill their blood out for the gods. Have you ever seen Apocalypse? It paints a very gruesome picture for you. and now Mexicans worship the goddesse of the dead. It is a very largely practiced cult, both in Mexico City and Veracruz. The country has a very corrupt justice system which is infested with dirty cops and politicians. Kidnapping for ransom is a very big problem there, and the cops are often involved.
Yeah, so...there is a lil bit of what we will be facing and walking into...but i share this with you so that you can be praying and entering with me into battle within the spiritual realm.
We have been learning in class about Spiritual Warfare, countered with God's Truths and Power; as well as Cultural Ministry, and this week's speaker is focusing on Servanthood. Good stuff! I loved the week on Spiritual Warfare b/c the speaker didn't focus JUST on satan...she would counter it with Godly truth. the main thing that stuck with me was the concept (truth) that we, as God's children, automatically are blessed with God's power to claim authority over satan and his agenda. God has given ALL of us the authority to trample on satan's head. We just have to CHOOSE to believe this and choose to live it out. And...if we choose to rather believe satan's lies that he plants in our heads, we are giving him his power. He has no power over us but that which we allow him to have. very eye-opening stuff! loved it.
We have also started to go to our "Ethnic churches"...ours being a Mexican church. its pretty tight, being able to listen to a sermon all in Spanish! I'm learning alot of new Spanish! Its so cool to be able to worship God in another language and culture. And then there is the bonus of always getting Mexican food afterwards:) I got the hook up on this one!
So...thats the recent down low of LA life. and my big sista is comin out to see me this weekend so i'm extremely stoked about that. she just decided tonight lol. I love random adventures! Please keep praying for me...the LA base...and Mexico with me! I covet all of your prayers and encouragement. Love to all...
Monday, October 19, 2009
oops....in addition...
just read over my 1st blog and realized its been 3 weeks not 2, and i didn't even tell you all my focus tract and outreach location yet! haha...how time flies.
Focus Tract: Justice
-which means: This team will be focusing on justice issues in society---specifically human trafficking. we will be raising awareness within the community as well as working alongside the LAPD in looking for and documenting our observations of possible human trafficking occurences. Its intense stuff. And its hard...but i went into this tract knowing and fully expecting to see God's power work through me.
and i felt very confirmed of my focus tract decision when i realized what my chosen outreach location decision would be focusing on...thats right...human trafficking and prostitution ministries. And the crazy thing was...I was intent on going to Thailand, but i knew that was not where God was wanting me to be. So we were told that we would be talked to more about the outreaches and to wait on deciding until this night, and then we would have an hour to hear from God and make our decision. well we weren't told anything new lol...just had the locations confirmed and then sent us to decide. i took the whole hour bc i couldn't get myself to lay down my desire to go to Thailand lol...i was trying to tell myself to shut up b/c i KNEW it was me. i just knew. So finally i got out my own thoughts and really listened. So MEXICO here i come! 1month in Mexico City...and then we have 1 more month in the city of Veracruz. I'm pretty stoked. God is going to show me so much of his power...b/c i cannot do this work without my Daddy. And i guess thats the way He wants it. so i will need a TON of prayer warriors!!
k...think thats it for now. Peace outtie.
Focus Tract: Justice
-which means: This team will be focusing on justice issues in society---specifically human trafficking. we will be raising awareness within the community as well as working alongside the LAPD in looking for and documenting our observations of possible human trafficking occurences. Its intense stuff. And its hard...but i went into this tract knowing and fully expecting to see God's power work through me.
and i felt very confirmed of my focus tract decision when i realized what my chosen outreach location decision would be focusing on...thats right...human trafficking and prostitution ministries. And the crazy thing was...I was intent on going to Thailand, but i knew that was not where God was wanting me to be. So we were told that we would be talked to more about the outreaches and to wait on deciding until this night, and then we would have an hour to hear from God and make our decision. well we weren't told anything new lol...just had the locations confirmed and then sent us to decide. i took the whole hour bc i couldn't get myself to lay down my desire to go to Thailand lol...i was trying to tell myself to shut up b/c i KNEW it was me. i just knew. So finally i got out my own thoughts and really listened. So MEXICO here i come! 1month in Mexico City...and then we have 1 more month in the city of Veracruz. I'm pretty stoked. God is going to show me so much of his power...b/c i cannot do this work without my Daddy. And i guess thats the way He wants it. so i will need a TON of prayer warriors!!
k...think thats it for now. Peace outtie.
Say what?!
So...much has happened in the last...what 2 weeks??! i seriously cannot believe it has only been 4 weeks...feels like 4 years! in a good yet hard way.
last week we had a speaker talk on Destiny & Identity. I learned alot.
---1. that i need to be way more open and trusting of authority, that there are alot of authority people who have a lot of good stuff to say and i will be missing out if i'm constantly cross-examining them in my head. or testing for incongruencies or waiting for something they say in which i can be like yeah...i knew i couldn't trust you. So at the beginning of last week...i was of course finding things to back up my untrust of this speaker and i learned a hard but good lesson in the process about going to the person and laying out any questions to them straight up and not letting the Enemy get ahold of my thinking or interfere with the work and teaching that God wants to deliver.
---2. I learned that i really need to work more on having my identity rooted in Christ and how he views me and what he says about me in his Word rather than getting caught up in lies and negative self-thinking or doubting.
*Random inclusion of info: I got to go to this hip-hop church called The Underground in LA and it was SO TIGHT! praise n worship was hip hop God praises and dancing in the aisles:):) and after the very very good preachin there were rap battles in which they rappers lifted each other up instead of the normal downing or slaughtering that you would find on the streets. it was pretty ill. not to mention it is an evening church! lol.
AND...then this past week we went as a team to Tijuana, Mexico for the week. It was a pretty hard week for me emotionally. I felt extremely down and just plain grumpy. As soon as we crossed the boarder into Mexico my whole self just felt oppressed...and my stomach hurt...and then as soon as we crossed it coming out...it went entirely away and i felt so much peace. crazy. i thought i was just being weird, but realized a bunch of others felt the exact same way, so i thought maybe it was spiritual warfare stuff. Mexico is a really spiritually oppressed country...i just didn't think it would affect me like that.
But we had some good times in Mexico too. We built a 2-bedroom little house for a family of 7, who formerly lived in a tiny "shack" built with anything and everything but no door...no floor...mattresses lining the walls for insulation...no electricity, etc. it was a cool time. the community is so destitute and it is hard to explain the hopelessness that hangs in the air. However...the people are SO humble and gracious and the kids even helped us with the build. i did alot of painting, and tried not to pet the numerous dogs that begged for attention and love. we got to give the keys to the house over to the family and hear the mother say a few words after we finished. i was not expecting to cry, but when she said "thank you, now my children don't have to worry about the wind and the rain" i couldn't help the abrupt fall of tears in response. the things that we take for granted. the things that we complain about.
And....now we are back and i am SO GLAD to be home in LA! I've never felt that homesickness before, but i'm sure it had alot to do with the spiritual oppression in Mexico, as well as the awesome family i have here in LA.
God has been very evident to me. Thank you always for all of your prayers and support. I could not be learning and experiencing all of this without all of you!! Thanks thanks and more thanks. I will let ya all in on the cool scoop God gave me this morning about some future coolness, when i feel that He is ready for me to share it with everyone. But i am SO EXCITED about it and humbled by the realization that God really CAN think and dream way bigger than me and SO WAY bigger than i could ever imagined. i honestly never believed that before this morning. haha...so glad He humbles me and loves me unconditionally.
AND....I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
last week we had a speaker talk on Destiny & Identity. I learned alot.
---1. that i need to be way more open and trusting of authority, that there are alot of authority people who have a lot of good stuff to say and i will be missing out if i'm constantly cross-examining them in my head. or testing for incongruencies or waiting for something they say in which i can be like yeah...i knew i couldn't trust you. So at the beginning of last week...i was of course finding things to back up my untrust of this speaker and i learned a hard but good lesson in the process about going to the person and laying out any questions to them straight up and not letting the Enemy get ahold of my thinking or interfere with the work and teaching that God wants to deliver.
---2. I learned that i really need to work more on having my identity rooted in Christ and how he views me and what he says about me in his Word rather than getting caught up in lies and negative self-thinking or doubting.
*Random inclusion of info: I got to go to this hip-hop church called The Underground in LA and it was SO TIGHT! praise n worship was hip hop God praises and dancing in the aisles:):) and after the very very good preachin there were rap battles in which they rappers lifted each other up instead of the normal downing or slaughtering that you would find on the streets. it was pretty ill. not to mention it is an evening church! lol.
AND...then this past week we went as a team to Tijuana, Mexico for the week. It was a pretty hard week for me emotionally. I felt extremely down and just plain grumpy. As soon as we crossed the boarder into Mexico my whole self just felt oppressed...and my stomach hurt...and then as soon as we crossed it coming out...it went entirely away and i felt so much peace. crazy. i thought i was just being weird, but realized a bunch of others felt the exact same way, so i thought maybe it was spiritual warfare stuff. Mexico is a really spiritually oppressed country...i just didn't think it would affect me like that.
But we had some good times in Mexico too. We built a 2-bedroom little house for a family of 7, who formerly lived in a tiny "shack" built with anything and everything but no door...no floor...mattresses lining the walls for insulation...no electricity, etc. it was a cool time. the community is so destitute and it is hard to explain the hopelessness that hangs in the air. However...the people are SO humble and gracious and the kids even helped us with the build. i did alot of painting, and tried not to pet the numerous dogs that begged for attention and love. we got to give the keys to the house over to the family and hear the mother say a few words after we finished. i was not expecting to cry, but when she said "thank you, now my children don't have to worry about the wind and the rain" i couldn't help the abrupt fall of tears in response. the things that we take for granted. the things that we complain about.
And....now we are back and i am SO GLAD to be home in LA! I've never felt that homesickness before, but i'm sure it had alot to do with the spiritual oppression in Mexico, as well as the awesome family i have here in LA.
God has been very evident to me. Thank you always for all of your prayers and support. I could not be learning and experiencing all of this without all of you!! Thanks thanks and more thanks. I will let ya all in on the cool scoop God gave me this morning about some future coolness, when i feel that He is ready for me to share it with everyone. But i am SO EXCITED about it and humbled by the realization that God really CAN think and dream way bigger than me and SO WAY bigger than i could ever imagined. i honestly never believed that before this morning. haha...so glad He humbles me and loves me unconditionally.
AND....I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Transformational Power:
Hey all!
I have a lil bit a free time today so i thought i'd blog it up cuz there is so much in my head and so much has happened already! It feels like i've been here for like a month already lol but i'm pretty sure its only been a week. wow. ok....so, when YWAM named this the Transformation DTS...they were right on. I really had no idea that transformation could look like this. So many people including me have already begun to enter this transformation. its so freakin amazing to see people change right b4 your eyes. its just like the Spirit gets ahold and then its not really them so much that you see its God! ha...so cool. and its communal. nobody is walking alone. we can't run...can't hide...can't even dissociate away from God's presence and knocking here. its like you are forced to hear his knock. and that puts you in a place of serious emotional conflict and a dilemma of decision. which is SO HARD. but so necessary. I've felt ALOT of knocking, lol....from God, asking me "will you give me this?...Will you lay this down?...Will you choose to walk COMPLETELY whole with me?" Will you choose to let me heal this?" oh man. so i've made myself hear these things and made myself stay present amidst the internal conflict...and while i have not totally responded yet...i know my heart is preparing to. i don't know exactly what the process and outcome will look like...but i know that there is so much more freedom that God is just waiting to show me. and i'm scared...but excited as well.
This coming week we will be focusing on hearing God's voice....and we will choose our tract by the end of the week. We were presented the details of the tracts last night and they are all so good that i have no idea which God has for me right now. so...We'll see! Pray that i will stay open to his will over my own...and that nothing will influence my decision other than the assurance of God's voice.
We get to go to the beach today!! i'm pretty excited! and we will have a bonfire and have the opportunity to physically "throw away" some things we are holding on to...into the fire. it'll be sweet. Pray that i grow in strength and courage...trust and faith...for our Lord. Thanks!!!
oh...btw...you may find it funny that we have to be in bed here by 10:30 and be up and ready for bfast by 7am!!! and i'm not doin so bad:) lol
more things i've learned:
Worship: 1. there are way more forms of worship than just singing. 2. when worshipping...ask yourself, "Did I make God proud?" rather than "How did the worship make me feel?" we want Jesus to turn to his Father and say..."Wow. Their worship today was amazing!" :) i like that.
*Its very helpful for me to start my MORNING off right with spending needed time with Jesus. It prepares and arms my head for the day way better.
*I have been putting more value on serving people with my life rather than serving God...and i have been idolizing my dreams rather than giving them over to God...even though they are Godly. along those lines...i often desire things "of God" alot more than i desire "GOD HIMSELF". just merely focusing on Relationship with Him...rather than pleasing him with my actions or striving for improvement in Him.
*We will begin to hear God's voice way better when we are able ....or CHOOSE to walk in obedience and surrender our selfishness. Dying To Self:) fun stuff!
I have a lil bit a free time today so i thought i'd blog it up cuz there is so much in my head and so much has happened already! It feels like i've been here for like a month already lol but i'm pretty sure its only been a week. wow. ok....so, when YWAM named this the Transformation DTS...they were right on. I really had no idea that transformation could look like this. So many people including me have already begun to enter this transformation. its so freakin amazing to see people change right b4 your eyes. its just like the Spirit gets ahold and then its not really them so much that you see its God! ha...so cool. and its communal. nobody is walking alone. we can't run...can't hide...can't even dissociate away from God's presence and knocking here. its like you are forced to hear his knock. and that puts you in a place of serious emotional conflict and a dilemma of decision. which is SO HARD. but so necessary. I've felt ALOT of knocking, lol....from God, asking me "will you give me this?...Will you lay this down?...Will you choose to walk COMPLETELY whole with me?" Will you choose to let me heal this?" oh man. so i've made myself hear these things and made myself stay present amidst the internal conflict...and while i have not totally responded yet...i know my heart is preparing to. i don't know exactly what the process and outcome will look like...but i know that there is so much more freedom that God is just waiting to show me. and i'm scared...but excited as well.
This coming week we will be focusing on hearing God's voice....and we will choose our tract by the end of the week. We were presented the details of the tracts last night and they are all so good that i have no idea which God has for me right now. so...We'll see! Pray that i will stay open to his will over my own...and that nothing will influence my decision other than the assurance of God's voice.
We get to go to the beach today!! i'm pretty excited! and we will have a bonfire and have the opportunity to physically "throw away" some things we are holding on to...into the fire. it'll be sweet. Pray that i grow in strength and courage...trust and faith...for our Lord. Thanks!!!
oh...btw...you may find it funny that we have to be in bed here by 10:30 and be up and ready for bfast by 7am!!! and i'm not doin so bad:) lol
more things i've learned:
Worship: 1. there are way more forms of worship than just singing. 2. when worshipping...ask yourself, "Did I make God proud?" rather than "How did the worship make me feel?" we want Jesus to turn to his Father and say..."Wow. Their worship today was amazing!" :) i like that.
*Its very helpful for me to start my MORNING off right with spending needed time with Jesus. It prepares and arms my head for the day way better.
*I have been putting more value on serving people with my life rather than serving God...and i have been idolizing my dreams rather than giving them over to God...even though they are Godly. along those lines...i often desire things "of God" alot more than i desire "GOD HIMSELF". just merely focusing on Relationship with Him...rather than pleasing him with my actions or striving for improvement in Him.
*We will begin to hear God's voice way better when we are able ....or CHOOSE to walk in obedience and surrender our selfishness. Dying To Self:) fun stuff!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
sweetness
wow. so much already! so after an all-day flying experience i made it to LA at around 10pm Cali time. And I was exhausted...which may have contributed to my ephemeral freak out feeling of "what the heck am i doing here?!?!" and temporary doubting moments. But morning came...actually it was afternoon b/c i was allowed to sleep in...:)...and with it came a day full of excitement! New people to meet...and these people are seriously so cool...we got sum representation from Germany, Switzerland, Britain, Asia, Canada, all over the states, and prolly more i just forget. but veryyyyyyyyyy cool accents! and a couple of them are not all familiar with English words/slang/what everything means and its awesome. i love it. one girl carries her German translation dictionary around with her lol. its just way cool. everyone so different and yet here for the exact same purposes. to serve and glorify God. so much passion for Him in one place!!! watch out world.
and im definitely gunna get my exercise in without much troubles...lets see...we played sum futbol (soccer)...ultimate frisbee...sum basketball...and there is plenty of place to get my job on if needed.
they have awesomated lemonaid on demand---palm trees and a pretty tight mountain view. gotta love it.
oh and for all ya'll detail-enthusiasts, lol...i got sum updates hehe.
1. There are about 12 trailers that they have us living in. umm...about 8-10 rooms in each, so kinda like a dorm setting. i will have 1 other roommate but sum of the rooms down the hall have 3 to a room.
2. We will choose our tract for studying within the first week, and the outreach location by the second or third week.
3. what else...um...the shower is amazazing. seriously, maybe b/c unlike sarah's and i's the water actually comes out at a high velocity...its like getting a massage. its pretty much a mission base typa living tho...bare basics:) which is not much new to me lol.
4. I'm finding out the more that i talk with people that having a "past" is not uncommon
5. sum of the staff have kids here on the base...and they are so cute and very talkative.
6. this is where i'm sposed to be. i don't know all the whys to that, but i'm excited for what is to come and the short-lived anxiety of last night has totally dissapated. i will however miss my sis, friends, and of course...my boys. however...i did see a dog runnin around today and i might be able to get sum of my therapeutic pets out on him lol. might be too big to cuddle with tho!
7. my roommate has not arrived yet so i have the room to myself so far which has actually been kinda nice
8. there is another school going on here so i get extra people to meet! a 9 mo SBS...which i have yet to figure out what that stands for lol, but i think sounds pretty intense of studying the Scriptures...and from what i hear ALOT of homework! glad i'm in the DTS:)
9. i'm sure i'll learn more once the week starts out and will keep everyone updated as much as i can...and can remember haha. i'm starting to get names down tho...it only took like 5 times asking each person ha. oh well.
update prayer requests:
* to continue to seek out God's will for my tract and outreach options
* for the financial situation to match my outreach needs
* and to keep learning LOTS!!
Thanks and please keep me updated on your lives as well,
Peace n love
and im definitely gunna get my exercise in without much troubles...lets see...we played sum futbol (soccer)...ultimate frisbee...sum basketball...and there is plenty of place to get my job on if needed.
they have awesomated lemonaid on demand---palm trees and a pretty tight mountain view. gotta love it.
oh and for all ya'll detail-enthusiasts, lol...i got sum updates hehe.
1. There are about 12 trailers that they have us living in. umm...about 8-10 rooms in each, so kinda like a dorm setting. i will have 1 other roommate but sum of the rooms down the hall have 3 to a room.
2. We will choose our tract for studying within the first week, and the outreach location by the second or third week.
3. what else...um...the shower is amazazing. seriously, maybe b/c unlike sarah's and i's the water actually comes out at a high velocity...its like getting a massage. its pretty much a mission base typa living tho...bare basics:) which is not much new to me lol.
4. I'm finding out the more that i talk with people that having a "past" is not uncommon
5. sum of the staff have kids here on the base...and they are so cute and very talkative.
6. this is where i'm sposed to be. i don't know all the whys to that, but i'm excited for what is to come and the short-lived anxiety of last night has totally dissapated. i will however miss my sis, friends, and of course...my boys. however...i did see a dog runnin around today and i might be able to get sum of my therapeutic pets out on him lol. might be too big to cuddle with tho!
7. my roommate has not arrived yet so i have the room to myself so far which has actually been kinda nice
8. there is another school going on here so i get extra people to meet! a 9 mo SBS...which i have yet to figure out what that stands for lol, but i think sounds pretty intense of studying the Scriptures...and from what i hear ALOT of homework! glad i'm in the DTS:)
9. i'm sure i'll learn more once the week starts out and will keep everyone updated as much as i can...and can remember haha. i'm starting to get names down tho...it only took like 5 times asking each person ha. oh well.
update prayer requests:
* to continue to seek out God's will for my tract and outreach options
* for the financial situation to match my outreach needs
* and to keep learning LOTS!!
Thanks and please keep me updated on your lives as well,
Peace n love
Friday, September 11, 2009
BRING ON LA
This blog is now going to be used to jot down thoughts, updates and adventures that flow from my time in Los Angeles. I leave on Thursday, the 17th....6 more days! I'm so super stoked and ready for the thrills and rollercoasters that God is gunna bring me on and through. Huge thanks to all who have already been praying and supporting me for this next adventure in my life!
I will be doing the YWAM-LA DTS (Discipleship Training School), which includes 3 months of classroom learning and local outreach, following with 2 more months of hard-core outreach in a particular destination. The destinations revolve around "focus tracts", such as the "justice" or "Muslim world" tracts.
Prayer requests:
*Wisdom and discernment in hearing and understanding which focus tract and destination God wants me to pursue/ stay aligned with and open for His will to be done.
*I keep myself Spiritually armed for battle and able to discern truths from lies
*I keep myself focused on learning more about God, deepening my relationship with him, seeing Him work versus being distracted by my own desires
*Anything else that may come to mind!
Peace outtie.
I will be doing the YWAM-LA DTS (Discipleship Training School), which includes 3 months of classroom learning and local outreach, following with 2 more months of hard-core outreach in a particular destination. The destinations revolve around "focus tracts", such as the "justice" or "Muslim world" tracts.
Prayer requests:
*Wisdom and discernment in hearing and understanding which focus tract and destination God wants me to pursue/ stay aligned with and open for His will to be done.
*I keep myself Spiritually armed for battle and able to discern truths from lies
*I keep myself focused on learning more about God, deepening my relationship with him, seeing Him work versus being distracted by my own desires
*Anything else that may come to mind!
Peace outtie.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
spit it right
you ready? ready 2 hold it steady? this life can get kinda heady. i'ma bout to plug it in...let the truth in life fill up to the brim.
Never blogged b4...not sure how long i will use this, but thought i'd try this space out. pre-warning advisory: Reading any content in this blog site may leave you exposed to a lil more reality than desired. Do not take in if already taking prescriptions of this world's lies as they will cause uncomfortable counter-effects.
Today: January 15, 2009.
I got fired from my job today. Instead of being pissed about the annoyance of the situation that could have been prevented, i was relieved. That's terrible huh. i hate responsibility...and yet...do enjoy having a steady flow of income in order to pay all my never-ceasing loans...gas for my car...and a roof over my head....not to mention my shoe-addiction. ugh. i feel as though i should be frieking out right bout now bout expenses...how i will make it in the next upcoming months when my savings becomes depleted...or how my 2 cute kittens will eat. BUT, i'm not. in fact...as i'm typing this i'm movin to the beat in Starbucks. yeah...Starbucks on 75th & Keystone has free wireless internet. these are things that an unemployed person needs to know. anyways...i guess i'm jus a lil confused with my own self. i know i'm somewhat of an irresponsible...definitely not practical...risk-taking kind of person, but i feel as though getting fired from a job should be more dramatic and hurtful to a person's life...at least their day? I was wondering if something was a lil off with me....ha....ok, maybe i already know that...but then i was thinkin and came up with an answer to the perplexity of my lack of friek-out-ness. In comparison to what i have encountered within my 25 years of living...getting fired is really not a real frightening deal. i guess i measure life according to a scale sometimes and this may be why it is hard for me to differentiate between what i consider a "boulder" and a "napsack" problem...referring to what i am learning in my small group boundary book. I prolly have alot of problems that could be considered "boulders" to most, but i unconsciously place them in my napsack for JUST me to deal with. an everyday occurrence. This is also prolly why i can wear myself out at times. my napsack gets pretty dang heavy some days and i have trouble accepting help in the load. i'm prideful? i know i'm untrusting at least. and i have great difficulty letting others in. at least...completely in. causing me to have difficulty even letting Jesus in. even though he sees IN...to the deepest parts of me he has already seen in. He won't touch me with his healing hand of love, though, until i am able to let him. Isn't free will fun? i am my own obstacle at this point in my life. funny how i can go from commenting on a lost job to the subject of free will. told ya these writing needed warning.
Never blogged b4...not sure how long i will use this, but thought i'd try this space out. pre-warning advisory: Reading any content in this blog site may leave you exposed to a lil more reality than desired. Do not take in if already taking prescriptions of this world's lies as they will cause uncomfortable counter-effects.
Today: January 15, 2009.
I got fired from my job today. Instead of being pissed about the annoyance of the situation that could have been prevented, i was relieved. That's terrible huh. i hate responsibility...and yet...do enjoy having a steady flow of income in order to pay all my never-ceasing loans...gas for my car...and a roof over my head....not to mention my shoe-addiction. ugh. i feel as though i should be frieking out right bout now bout expenses...how i will make it in the next upcoming months when my savings becomes depleted...or how my 2 cute kittens will eat. BUT, i'm not. in fact...as i'm typing this i'm movin to the beat in Starbucks. yeah...Starbucks on 75th & Keystone has free wireless internet. these are things that an unemployed person needs to know. anyways...i guess i'm jus a lil confused with my own self. i know i'm somewhat of an irresponsible...definitely not practical...risk-taking kind of person, but i feel as though getting fired from a job should be more dramatic and hurtful to a person's life...at least their day? I was wondering if something was a lil off with me....ha....ok, maybe i already know that...but then i was thinkin and came up with an answer to the perplexity of my lack of friek-out-ness. In comparison to what i have encountered within my 25 years of living...getting fired is really not a real frightening deal. i guess i measure life according to a scale sometimes and this may be why it is hard for me to differentiate between what i consider a "boulder" and a "napsack" problem...referring to what i am learning in my small group boundary book. I prolly have alot of problems that could be considered "boulders" to most, but i unconsciously place them in my napsack for JUST me to deal with. an everyday occurrence. This is also prolly why i can wear myself out at times. my napsack gets pretty dang heavy some days and i have trouble accepting help in the load. i'm prideful? i know i'm untrusting at least. and i have great difficulty letting others in. at least...completely in. causing me to have difficulty even letting Jesus in. even though he sees IN...to the deepest parts of me he has already seen in. He won't touch me with his healing hand of love, though, until i am able to let him. Isn't free will fun? i am my own obstacle at this point in my life. funny how i can go from commenting on a lost job to the subject of free will. told ya these writing needed warning.
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