Thursday, December 8, 2011

Eyes Wide Open

It was a morning just like any other. And as I merged onto the highway, still trying to force my eyes out of their sleep, I was reminded that no day is like any other when you are living for the King. It was exquisite. Perfectly painted and displayed like a showcase of the finest art, almost as if to say, "look what I made for you". You gotta understand, I'm not exactly a morning person, and sunrises are usually passed by in a zoned-out state of sub-conscious exhaustion. But this one...this one made me smile, laugh even. A perfectly drawn line appearing as a horizon, separating a half risen sun from a deep blue sky of oceanic proportion. I felt like I was back in California, driving on the 1...gazing over the ocean. Just when I was missing Cali so much, God paints me a picture reminding me that he is personal. That he loves me just that much. Extravagant Love, knowing no bounds.

He is jealous of our love, because it is a personal love. And as I examine my life, my "story", I have to marvel at his personal appearance throughout it all. A never-ending, continual pursuit of my heart. For that is what this life is about. It was just the night before, that I was crying out his Name, seeking comfort amidst the pain of this life. And I surprised myself, calling him Daddy. Now i've tried this name out before with him, trying to understand what this exactly meant, trying to grasp the meaning of this concept. I wanted to learn, but I was far from feeling a half of its truth. It was forced...sound intention, but still forced. This time was different. I was crying from my heart to my Daddy. And I realized that even in such terrible pain and agony, the beautiful love of God pours forth into my story. I think...that maybe it is in those times that we reach the end of ourselves, that we are in better position to reach out. To soften our distrusting hearts and pursue him back. As we turn around and take a look back on our stories, don't diminish or deny those times of excruciating pain. It is in those times, that you will see God's pursuit of you all that much clearer. He is so beautiful. Don't forget to look back, it is what propels us forward.

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