In each of our lives, at differing points in our histories, we can, without doubt, safely assume that we have been pierced with uniquely painful messages; messages that serve to further Satan's purposes and taint the reality of who we were made to be.
There are two differing messages…not all bad, and those truths that we are blessed enough to have fed to us early on prove to strengthen and equip us to deflect and withstand opposing messages. But the fact remains, that however poured into with truth a person starts off with, those poison arrows tend to find there way in at some point in our lives and infect the very core of our being-the base of our operating system. And admit it or not, it does affect us. If we are not conscious of the cuts made and the severing of those truth roots, then we walk around this life wounded--and wounding others at the same time.
Some are aware of their wounds some are not. Some are able to say that they've been wounded, but have no idea where those voracious messages seeped into their souls…how it has painted their personalities…and subsequently colored their view of the world they live in.
Perhaps we begin to walk with tunnel vision through this life. I admit that I often forget that this life is being battled out. We get stuck in our little stories and we miss the big picture. A picture and a reality of Good versus Evil. Yes, my heart and soul belong to my Savior, but that doesn't mean that Satan throws up his hands and erases his efforts at vying for position. He would love nothing less than to do great…(or small, for that matter)-damage to our identity as sons and daughters, princes and princesses of a King who so longingly desires us to see, know and live out our given inheritances of holy and wholly healed.
And so we continue to walk around in our little stories, unaware of who we really are or the bigger purpose for our current struggles, pain or life in general. We become satisfied with only seeing a fraction of truth--its safe. It may often suck, and be riddled with boredom, fatigue and hopelessness…but its safe! It's what we know, and that is comforting to us. So we replace the need for a Comforter with fake comforts. We forego the abundance of the narrow road because we can't see the process or the end…or we don't trust it.
If we don't trust either the process or the end…then it is time for us to start questioning our trust in our Shepherd. For the end has already been won! And our Shepherd…our Savior, Friend, Lover, Father and Comforter…HE IS GOOD! Do we really believe this? Or are we choosing our own hum drum stories to live into versus allowing ourselves to be enthralled with Love himself? Is is scary to feel your soul come alive…to acquire hope? To be loved by such a wild Lover?
It is often scary for me…but exceedingly more scary at the beginning. To feel hope, because it was once so unknown and I wasn't yet sure of the goodness of God. I wasn't certain that He could be trusted with the all of who I was. For some of us, we have learned to give over our trust of God in some areas of our lives, but we are holding out and hanging on to other parts of us…often with a vice grip. Maybe we should ask ourselves some hard, yet truth telling questions. Why is this? What is it that I fear letting go of?
Silence. This is what opened pandora's box for these questions to coming floating out, for me the other day. The house became silent. And I panicked. I'm one to always have music on…and i've reasoned with myself that because its now all music that teaches me more about God or allows me to praise him, that its okay---its good---that it is constantly flowing out of the computer speakers. I've reasoned this way because I've heard God asking me to turn it off! (This is a very minor example, but in a way, nothing is minor in this life that is governed by our very hearts and minds). So I had to ask myself these questions: Why? Why do I hate silence? Why would I rather be around people all day than spend a few minutes alone…by myself…with God? I've got my answers, and they aren't all pretty, but they are real and they are solid launching points of diving deeper into the heart of my Father.
And that is the goal. That is our purpose. To know God and who we are in Him…then we can live it out, not remaining locked in our own stories but in God's story--God's love story, where he is not just the Author of our lives but the Hero as well. A story in which we learn how to squelch the poison-tipped arrows of the Enemy and step out into our created identities. To make the return to The Garden where it first began. And the return to the hope that the fullness of that Garden awaits us at the end of that road that we, in all of our own efforts, squint our eyes trying to see.
Think about it, if we truly knew how scandalously and furiously we are loved by the Creator of the universe…how could we remain unchanged? That narrow road is not easy by any means. It is the hardest, most excruciatingly painful journey you could ever go on. Not encouraging? Oh but it is…because it is so worth it. We were not made to walk through this life comforted and made numb by temporary things of this world, because we were made for more. Our hearts were formed for the more. This is why we become depressed and tend to lose heart when we stop remembering God's love and faithfulness and who we are, because our very identity has been covered up.
It's time to uncover the veil. It's time to remember…to throw off all that hinders us-trace back the arrows and replace them with truth…truth that God is faithful and good. This is not a game of survival. You won't win by trying to negate hurt and pain. Take away those emotions and you take away all the good, you bury your heart and with it your soul, becoming someone that you were never intended to become. It's time to awaken our hearts that were made to beat wildly for a wild Lover.
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