Grace. Once you think you got it all figured out, you just may find that you are blown away again by the power of this grace that's called a gift. I've had more than my share of moments when I've needed that grace, so i should be used to how it feels--I should be aware of all the complexities of this thing. Truth is...It still blows me away. And while I've definitely seen the cores of grace played out in the hearts of those around me, I was still reluctant to expect the same from God. lol. The source of it all. I was leery that this same grace could be found from the very God that enabled the hearts of those in which i saw it play out. I'm too stubborn for my own good.
I realized that it isn't possible to understand the fullness of God's love for us if we don't realize the brevity of his grace. This is what the world tells us: we screw up...we get punished. We get punished based on the extent of our screw up. And love...or a withholding thereof is congruent with the basis of our ups and downs. So...if I'm to screw up, I am conditioned to ask how bad the punishment is going to be. And while there are always inevitable consequences that come with any action...sometimes there is no punishment...only this thing called grace.
It messes my head up. It's almost like I wish that I could just be punished instead...because it is easier for me to accept. A full out pardon? No punishment? That's grace. Grace is love. It is hard to accept because it says: you are loved...not for what you do but for who you are. Don't get me wrong...appropriate punishment can also say that you're loved and often the situation will call for the latter...but it is grace that I can't always get my head around. I have to force myself to accept it...to refuse to give in to the conditioned response to punish my own self. It is extremely humbling. I'm not even sure why it is so humbling but it is. It's like I'm choosing to say: God, you know better than I do, so I'm gunna play by your rules and not my own. It is accepting that I am capable of being loved, even if i feel or know that I am not deserving of that love. Its replacing me with more of God.
when we recognize the depravity of our sin, or our inability to be perfect, then we are able to shed light on our desperate need for the grace and love of Jesus Christ. In response, we learn humility...we learn more about ourselves...and more of who the God is that we serve. We gain more insight into our inheritance. An inheritance that goes against all the rules of this world. Salvation. Being saved from ourselves. An unearned extension of priceless love, from the Father of Love to his beloved.
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